I know of many people who can blow the roofs off halls with their music. I even know some of this kind personally. A virtual rule with people of this kind seems to be that they started young, which I guess is true of pretty much everything in the creative arts.
That said, here’s something I saw on TV last week that made me shudder. There are these competitions that judge how well people sing. With the number of TV channels growing every day, the number of these is as well. These competitions are also held for children. That’s bad enough, right? I mean, do ten year-olds need to be told they are good, or worse – no good, at singing? To be fair, there are some programmes that do this gently, and try and explain to the kids the mistakes they make as areas for improvement.
And then there are the programmes of the kind that was blaring on the TV in the hall at JVH. This was on Zee Kannada, on a programme called ‘Sa-ri-ga-ma-pa’, if somebody wants to check the next time they air this crock. This programme actually holds eliminations for the kids on it. With all the theatrics of American Idol, except with creepier music. That, and they’re doing this to kids.
” Now let’s find out who stays and who goes home. We have contestants A, B, C, and E. D is safe from elimination because she won last week’s round. Okay, then…
The first one to progress to the next round is… E! **Boom! [Cue creepy music]**
The next one to get into the next round is B! **More boom! [Cue creepier music] **
We’re now left with A and C! Out of these two, the judges have gone with the beautiful smile of C! ** You know **
We’re sorry, A, but we have to send somebody home. You have been eliminated. ** [Cue depressing music, this time] ** “
The above, if you are suspicious, isn’t a caricature. This is actually what the fucking git of a host said to the frikkin’ ten year-olds on the show. Including the suspenseful drumroll ending in a flourish and the creepy music… And the ‘we choose the nicer smile‘ bit. What the heck does a smile have to do with a singing contest? Wait, let me rephrase that. How fucking stupid does somebody have to be to do this to a ten year-old?
Now, like I said, this stupidity may not be representative of every singing programme on TV. But this is what happens when there are fifty of these programmes and each of them tries to outdo the others in ‘excitement’. And the only way these nitwits can drum up excitement is to play Russian roulette with kids to decide who gets to play Russian roulette next week.
[End. Fini. Kaputski.]