I was very surprised when I first heard that North Korea was going to play in the football world cup. The sole aim of the North Korean regime of the great leader, that dead bastard, and his son, the dear leader, that sick, dying pig, is to keep the people of North Korea in a real-life Orwellian nightmare. The people of North Korea are absolute property of the ruling family, and live with a staggering lack of freedom – no electricity, no telephone, no internet other than the state-run intranet where the state puts up things you are allowed to see, no music, no TV, no movies, no free press. (That last one was a joke … Free Press? In North Korea?!). Heck, the people aren’t even allowed to buy their own food. Rations are provided by the state, in amounts deemed sufficient by the state. Meat is strictly for state-authorised celebratory occasions (read the birthday of the great leader).
Now, this kind of hellish repression is sustainable, for whatever length of time, only with absolute lack of information. Which explains why there is no access to the internet, or to TV or radio that doesn’t extol the virtues of the president, that dead SOB, Kim Il Sung. There is also active xenophobic propaganda – ‘South Koreans are so poor that they only feed themselves by rummaging through trash cans’, when nothing could be farther from the truth. And with one of the largest armed and police forces in the world, ready to step on the throats of anybody who deviates from the rule of the state in the slightest.
The only way to maintain this kind of absolute misinformation is to never let anybody see the outside world. Which is why it is utterly bewildering to me that the dictatorship slave-ownership that is the North Korean government would let some of its civilians out to play football. What is more surprising, however, is that only four players from the North Korean football team have been reported AWOL. How the heck did the managers and team officials (how much should one bet that these are army officers?) manage to keep the other fifteen nineteen[Thanks, Bhadwa] from doing the same thing?
My viva voce happened today. 6 months of work, followed by 4 months of no work (and I mean NO work), followed by 2 months of work, all judged by two people who are determinedly extremely uninterested in what you are saying for 30 minutes. IITM knows how to make a fellow feel useless.
In robotics, among the most difficult tasks to get a machine to do is to adapt to unexpected situations. Have you tried lifting a cup of coffee, only to find that the cup was empty when you thought it’d be full? Have you perhaps tried to take a step down a staircase that has already ended? Disappointment about the coffee aside, the ways your arm and leg muscles adjust to the unexpected change in load are mechansitically quite complex. And to get a robot to do this is incredibly hard.
I feel like that robot. I went prepared for murder. My murder. Instead… nothing. In George Costanza’s words, “NOTHING!”. A few quibbles about report formatting aside, I was asked basically to explain my analysis better in the report, and told that the reason the part of my work that didn’t work didn’t work is because I was trying to square a circle. All quite nicely and at 40 dB.
‘OK, dude, that’s all we have for you. Go on.’
Like I said, major league bathos.
… especially if they include a 20 minute presentation on what I’ve been (supposedly) doing for the last 12 months.
Today’s my viva-voce.
And I dread presentations. To be fair, I have no problem talking in informal groups; I’m also not peeved giving random talks about stuff that doesn’t matter, stuff about which the more you obfuscate and beat around the bush the better… (to wit: HS course presentations at IITM). All you have to do is take a stand one way or another, and the presentation will go forward on its own with people doing carrying on the discussion for you. Or you appear to sit on the fence, and you’ll be considered a voice of moderation, a ‘sophisticated’ thinker.
Technical presentations about engineering, on the other hand… Yeesh!
Me no good. Me suck. Mi-viva in an hour. Me hope to survive.
This is even more an issue of survival than it would ordinarily be for me, because I’ve royally pissed off one of the members on my committee. (Ask me about it. I’ll tell you.)
If I make it through the presentation and question-session, I’ll say something about it here [Link updated] (after treating the prof who let me print my thesis out on his comp; Thanks, HSN).
1) There’s this place just outside IITM, called Ascendas, which houses many IT offices and has a half decent food-court; it’s become quite the haunt for bored IITians who’d eat anything other than mess food. About a year ago, Ascendas started requiring people to deposit valid ID cards, collect badges from a counter and produce these badges for entry into the compound. To the complete bafflement and pique of everybody concerned. What the heck is the point of collecting IDs? Is somebody who is really up to trouble going to forget to create a false ID? If they do, are they going to not create trouble because you caught them without their IDs? ‘Oh, right, I have this suitcase with a bomb in it, but I’m not going to blow up your nice building here because I’ve forgotten my ID’?
It gets worse. The idiots collecting ID cards and handing out badges will accept more than one ID of the same person. ‘Here, Sir, we’re ten people who’ve come here to cause mayhem (but we’re not really telling you), and you can let us in because we have these ten ID cards of a Mr. Aviral Roy. He’s not here, but I’m sure he doesn’t mind that you’re letting us in on his ID’. The stupid. It burns.
2) I happened to watch the India-Pakistan match yesterday. Holy crap! How is it that the insipid Indian cricket team that lost to Zimbabwe, twice, managed to pull this match off? And it wasn’t India’s usual one-man effort, either. Everybody played a part. I saw Suresh Raina jump ten feet to try and avoid getting run out when he must have known it was improbable that he would make it. I saw Harbhajan and Shoaib Akhtar taunt each other in Punjabi. Well, OK, Harbhajan taunts everybody in Punjabi, so maybe this one isn’t that different from usual; this was a different Indian team to the one that played Zimbabwe not two weeks ago.
1) The fastest supercomputers that are built are usually special purpose supercomputers, i.e., they sacrifice generality for speed. I remember reading about one which could compute how a protein created from a certain strand of DNA with millions of base-pairs would fold over itself. The loss of generality also means, however, that these specific-purpose supercomputers aren’t classified as the fastest supercomputers that have been built (Wikipedia says the ruling body makes its adjudications based on how fast the machine can LU-factorise a large matrix).
On a related note, my mp3 player can handle even video files, but ask it to shuffle when it’s playing and it slows to a crawl – calculating which number to go to after 27 must be tough indeed – the stupid thing. I’ll have to burn a shuffled playlist into it in the first place.
2) How is it that Chennai allows the screening of Sex and the City? I thought people here were the kind of folks who sue a well-known actress for daring to suggest that premarital sex may not be all that despicable in the 21st century. (Just so one doesn’t think I’m overdoing it, I’ll add that the case against Khusboo went to the Supreme Court of India because the Madras High Court refused to grant her relief from the cases against her. ) [ UPDATE: Also, see this and the comments therein. Anna University wants students in colleges here under constant video surveillance.]
The resolution, as far as us bunch of tam-junta at my lab can work out, is that Khusboo was talking specifically about Indian women – she said men in India should get used to the idea that their wives may have had other relationships before marriage. And this was considered an affront to the modesty of all Indian women, and Tam women in particular (why every Indian woman is required to be modest is something nobody has bothered to ask) – we pride ourselves on being prudes of the highest strictures, you see. But when it comes to women of other countries talking about sex (which is the same as men here watching fair-skinned women talk about sex) there’s no problem; those people have already been assumed to be less civilised than us (and the men here can do whatever they want), it’s our women we want to keep from becoming immodest.
It isn’t often that one has to change everything one has known about someone. Gandhi was as close as this country will ever come to having a moral leader, a conscience. He is the man who brought down the British Empire without the use of violence. He is also touted as the inspiration behind MLK Jr.’s fight for civil rights in America, and Mandela’s fight against the Apartheid laws in South Africa.
Nair mentioned a Penn and Teller episode calling bullshit on Gandhi’s Mahatma title, in which they claim he was a flagrant racist. I spluttered…
“Mahatma Gandhi, a racist? You’re kidding me.”
“Mahatma Gandhi, the man MLK Jr. called his inspiration for the fight for black civil rights in America, a racist? Surely, you’re not serious?”
“This has to be a misinterpretation of something Gandhi said. Penn and Teller aren’t Gandhi-experts, after all”.
It isn’t as if I did not know that he was a social conservative – he was against the horrors of untouchability, but not against the caste system; he was against the then prevalent maltreatment of widows, but you wouldn’t find him having said anything for widow-remarriage, – to say nothing of his ideas about religion and secularism, and science and technology, but one puts these things down to evolving social standards. After all, the vanguards of social opinion of one century are only as good as the laggards of the next, and the silliness that is religion is still pervasive today.
But the idea that someone like Gandhi, who lived and fought for civil rights in South Africa for two decades could have been racist seems a little far-fetched, right? Right? So I did some digging around. I wanted to prove that I hadn’t held a douchebag in the highest esteem for as long as I can remember. I read, from The Collected Works of Mahatma Gandhi (CWMG), some of Gandhi’s letters to authorities and his articles in The Indian Opinion, the newspaper he ran in South Africa.
This is from November 1896, in a pamphlet that became known as ‘the green pamphlet’ for its cover:
… the Indian is put on the same level with the native in many other ways also. Lavatories are marked “natives and Asiatics” at the railway stations. In the Durban Post and Telegraph Offices, there were separate entrances for natives and Asiatics and Europeans. We felt the indignity too much and many respectable Indians were insulted and called all sorts of names by the clerks at the counter. We petitioned the authorities to do away with the invidious distinction and they have now provided three separate entrances for natives, Asiatics and Europeans
And again, from September 1896, and a speech written to be read out in Bombay:
Ours is one continual struggle against a degradation sought to be inflicted upon us by the Europeans, who desire to degrade us to the level of the raw Kaffir whose occupation is hunting, and whose sole ambition is to collect a certain number of cattle to buy a wife with and, then, pass his life in indolence and nakedness.
(‘Kaffir’ is what native black people of South Africa were called, and no, it wasn’t just short-form for ‘native black people of South Africa’; it was then the equivalent of today’s ‘nigger’.)
Or this, from February 1904:
… under my suggestion, the Town Council must withdraw the Kaffirs from the Location. About this mixing of the Kaffirs with the Indians, I must confess I feel most strongly. I think it is very unfair to the Indian population and it is an undue tax on even the proverbial patience of my countrymen.
Or this from September 1905,
We have come to know that it is the intention of the Government to change the Higher Grade Indian School at Durban into a school for Coloured children generally, and to observe no distinction as to girls and boys … the decision to open the school for all Coloured children is unjust to the Indian community, and is a departure from the assurance given by the then Minister of Education… As to the question of non-separation of girls and boys … there are not only practical serious objections to such a course being followed, but in many instances there is also the religious sentiment to be considered
And here’s the kicker, from an article in The Indian Opinion, in September 1903:
We believe as much in the purity of race as we think they [White Supremacists in South Africa] do, only we believe that they would best serve the interest, which is as dear to us as it is to them, by advocating the purity of all the races and not one alone. We believe also that the white race in South Africa should be the predominating race…
The White race is ‘pure’? The white race should be the predominating race in South Africa, a sub-continent where the natives were black, and were in the majority? What the fuck?! How is this any different from what Hitler advocated regarding the purity of the Aryan race? Hitler actually followed through with the gassing of six million people for absolutely no reason, and Gandhi was content on leaving the ‘impure race’ be, as long as they didn’t also want to part of mainstream society, but as far as I’m concerned, the underlying principle is the same.
The extracts I’ve quoted are not exhaustive. There’s a lot more of the same kind of racism. Nearly everything Gandhi said or wrote in South Africa, from circa 1895 to circa 1915, anything that had anything to do with the native black people goes along the same lines. The general import is this: ‘the white race is pure, and the black race is impure. The white people are doing the black people a favour by civilising them. My only objection is that Indians are also put in the same category as the black people. How could you do that to us? Both the English and the Indians spring from a common stock, called the Indo-Aryan. We are not like the black people, and you should treat us better’. (The last two sentences are actually his: CWMG, Vol I, Pg. 192)
Seen in the light of this venom against an entire race of people, for nothing other than their skin colour, I can see no explanation for his insistence on preserving the caste system than that he made a transition from South Africa to India and replaced the black people with the dalits of India. And to think that this is the man we think of as the messiah for equality. To think that this is the man MLK Jr. idolised, the man than Mandela took inspiration from. If this isn’t irony, I don’t know what possibly could be.
It isn’t often that one has to change everything one has known about someone, especially if that someone is generally considered a great man. Maybe ‘change’ isn’t the right word, maybe ‘reinterpret’ is more like it, but it sure as heck feels like a goddamn one-eighty.
The logical fallacy of claiming that something is true because it claims it is true seems to be lost on organised religion and its proponents. Here’s the same thing said in verse, only funnier:
Hat Tip: Pharyngula